Waiting

I'm sitting at the hospital pumping one last time before my MRI. Crazy! We met with a surgeon yesterday and she recommended a mammogram and MRI today. She mentioned surgery will be in the next two weeks. We don't know if it will be a lumpectomy or double mastectomy. These tests today will help determine. I was so discouraged to miss Roman's school Christmas program this morning. Matt FaceTime'd me so I could see part of the show. It was great to see, but so sad! At least Matt's mom flew in town last night to help. Roman probably loved having her at his program.  I hate this so much! I don't know why this is happening, but I'm trying to stay positive. Ashley and Mark Jansen prayed with us this morning over the phone before my appointments. It was so great to have a moment of prayer between the four of us. There are so many positives in this situation: 

My mom lives here!

I got to nurse all 3 babies for a long time. So glad this wasn't pre-babies. Since I will probably be losing my boobies.

I'm not pregnant now like our original plan would have been. I've already got my babies and they all sleep through the night!

Always positives!

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10)

seven months

Hudson turned seven months on December 9th.  He's getting so big!  My mom took him to the doctor for me to get his shots (delayed schedule) and he weighed over 22 lbs!  Amazing how big he is!

• Hudson is starting to not like baby food as much anymore!  He wants finger foods all the time.  He wants to use his hands and be a big boy.  He eats avocados, bananas, muffins, pancakes, french toast, even meatloaf.  Third child eats anything!
• Hudson takes 5 bottles a day between 6-8 oz in each bottle.  I had to quit nursing him the week we found out about my cancer because of all the tests and scans.  He did better than expected with going straight to bottle.  I was so sad to quit nursing him.  I had set a goal to go at least a year and obviously couldn't meet that goal.  Oh well.  God had different plans.  He got 7 months of breast milk, so he did pretty good.
• Hudson started crawling!  His first big crawl was December 21st.  He is fully mobile and on the go now!  Oh boy!
• Hudson whines a lot.  I don't think he's always unhappy, he just is loud and talks a lot.  It drives Matt so crazy.  I think it's just a phase for now.
• He wears size 4 diaper and size 12 month clothes
• Hudson still naps an hour in the morning around 9:30-10:30 and then from 2-4 in the afternoon.  He has a great schedule and sleeps around 7:45pm -7:45am ish.
• Hudson is generally a happy baby.  He is always smiling with that cute dimple.  I love it so much!
• He is all boy!  Hudson can not sit still and is always so active.  He reminds me of Roman so much.
• Carmen still tries to be his mommy.  They can play together a little bit more now.  He still loves her, but he adores Roman.  It's so cute to watch him just stare at Roman and laugh at him.  I love the sibling interaction

We love you sweet boy so much!  You are such a blessing to our family and we love your loud, happy, boyish ways!  Thank you God for letting us be Hudson's mommy and daddy!

December 9th

December 9th will now always be the day that I got a phone call saying that I have breast cancer. It all started about a month ago. I noticed a little lump on the left side but didn't think much of it. I waited a few weeks and decided since I met my deductible for the year already there was no reason not to go to the doctor. I went last Wednesday. She felt it and acted like it was no big deal, but recommend I have an ultrasound soon.  I scheduled one for the next day. The ultrasound technician saw the mass but couldn't give me any info. As I sat there waiting for a doctor, I started to get a little nervous. What if this really was something? Surely it was just related to breastfeeding. It is so unlikely to get cancer when you're actually breastfeeding. Then an overwhelming peace came over me and it was as if God was speaking to me. He just said, "I am sovereign." I know he has a plan, but just wasn't hoping it was this! They were going to have to wait a week for the biopsy, but luckily got me in on Friday at the downtown Atlanta location. I still felt like it wasn't that big of a deal all weekend, until I got the news today. We meet with a surgeon tomorrow. I'm nervous, scared, and just shocked. Why God? I just keep feeling like he has a plan for me.  Not sure what, but I'm trying to be ready. 

Chippy

This was our first year to actually have an elf.  Roman named him Chippy from the movie explaining the elf on the shelf.  It was really cute to see the kids wake up each morning looking for Chippy.  We really focused on wondering where Chippy hid each morning rather than how Chippy listens to them to check up on their behavior.  I tried to explain that no matter their behavior, they will still get some gifts because of GRACE.  Jesus came to the world to show us GRACE, so we show grace to them.  Roman and Carmen are still understanding this concept.  They loved Chippy!

Thanksgiving fun

Just like that, I got all grown up and hosted Thanksgiving for the first time ever. My brother and his family flew in town Tuesday through Sunday of that week. We had such a great time with them. I loved setting the table and even creating special name tags for all of us. Matt had flown so much this past month that he was 'full' and they couldn't use him anymore, so he had the whole week off! It couldn't have been better!

We set the kids together in the foyer. They loved having their own table. I let them decorate the table too.

Love our family. We all went around saying what we were thankful for. It was a special time.

Hudson's first Thanksgiving!

Friday we drove up to the Cabbage Patch doll hospital to see all the dolls. Roman even begged for a boy doll. We managed to get out without getting him the doll. We then drove through downtown Dahlonega for Icecream. It was a great day!

We were sad to see them leave on Sunday. The grand kids all play so well together. I love my family!! So blessed!

family pictures

 

We hired a photographer to come the day before Thanksgiving to capture some family photos when Andy and Elizabeth were here.  He actually almost didn't show!  He thought I had texted earlier and canceled, but it obviously wasn't me.  He came an hour later and got some great pics, but we decided to try and capture some with my camera before he came.  Here is our attempt:

 

 

 

More Thanksgiving pictures

Matt and Meema cooking the turkey

Hudson enjoyed Thanksgiving lunch

The kiddo table

Family fun

Roman enjoyed a turkey leg

crazy kids eating turkey lunch

the placesetting

my homemade name cards

Carmen and Roman decorated the table

The table

Cousin fun at the park after lunch