December 9th

December 9th will now always be the day that I got a phone call saying that I have breast cancer. It all started about a month ago. I noticed a little lump on the left side but didn't think much of it. I waited a few weeks and decided since I met my deductible for the year already there was no reason not to go to the doctor. I went last Wednesday. She felt it and acted like it was no big deal, but recommend I have an ultrasound soon.  I scheduled one for the next day. The ultrasound technician saw the mass but couldn't give me any info. As I sat there waiting for a doctor, I started to get a little nervous. What if this really was something? Surely it was just related to breastfeeding. It is so unlikely to get cancer when you're actually breastfeeding. Then an overwhelming peace came over me and it was as if God was speaking to me. He just said, "I am sovereign." I know he has a plan, but just wasn't hoping it was this! They were going to have to wait a week for the biopsy, but luckily got me in on Friday at the downtown Atlanta location. I still felt like it wasn't that big of a deal all weekend, until I got the news today. We meet with a surgeon tomorrow. I'm nervous, scared, and just shocked. Why God? I just keep feeling like he has a plan for me.  Not sure what, but I'm trying to be ready.